I have been really struggling lately. As a matter of fact, I was struggling to figure out how to write this blog because I feel like I have failed one too many times. I know none of us can be perfect, yet I seem to be struggling with the same things that I’ve been struggling with for some time. As I was praying about it this week I found a note in my Bible in the 30th chapter of Deuteronomy during my Bible study. Of course Deuteronomy is the Old Covenant Law and we live under the New Covenant Law, but Jesus did not come to abolish the law, although He did fulfill it for us.
The note in my Bible talks about how the law is to show us our need for Christ. It talks about how none of us live sinless lives while we are here. This doesn’t make my struggle any less troublesome though. Jesus not only expects us to follow the Old Law, but He raised the bar on the Old Law as well during His Sermon on the Mount. We don’t come to Jesus to escape the laws and be able to freely sin or neglect what He has called us to do.
To compare my notes in the Old Testament, I looked over some of my notes from our church’s fairly recent study in Hebrews. I found a comforting note there as well that said to want to do what is right is to go from baby milk as a Christian to knife and fork food. There is a reference to this in Hebrews in chapter five. Maybe my worry is just growing pains. I still feel like I’m faltering.
The best motivation I have to keep going though is David. We talked about David during our study in Hebrews and I also recently read a book that focused on David being a man after God’s own heart. If you remember, David wasn’t faultless. His more notable sins include adultery with Bathsheba and then the murder of her husband, Uriah. If you’ve read some of his psalms, they show some bitterness and unresolved anger. In fact, in I Kings, chapter 2 in David’s final words to his son Solomon he indicated Solomon should kill the man who had taunted him when one of his other sons had tried to take the throne and David fled. Rather than words of forgiveness and letting grudges go, David held a very bitter one to the end. And God called this man a man after His own heart. Maybe there’s some hope after all.
When we feel defeated with our struggles it is easy to start to focus on our struggles rather than who we should focus on: Jesus. That’s when they start to feel very out of control. Peter drowned in the sea when he took his eyes of Jesus and when I focus on my struggles rather than Jesus I feel like I am drowning too. This gives Satan a stronghold. Sometimes even when we feel less like a child of the King, we need to just keep our eyes on Him and keep moving forward. I hope that means we are growing. But the only way to even try to grow is to hold closer to Him when we are going through the storms.